Ronda Rousey has admitted that she is still coming to terms with the fact that her legacy in the UFC has been ruined after she was beaten by Holly Holm.
Rousey was undefeated prior to her fight against Holm at UFC 193 in November last year, but Holm stunned the UFC community when she knocked Rousey out in the second round of their bout in Melbourne and became crowned the new women’s bantamweight champion.
The 29-year-old has not stepped foot in the Octagon since her loss to Holm and while she is currently occupied with movie commitments, Rousey is determined to get back to winning ways when she makes her comeback later this year.
“I’m still grieving the person that could have won it all but I have to live up to the fact that I’m not her, that’s just who I’d like to be and instead I’m what I need to be for myself and everyone else,” Rousey told Time.
“It’s just that you have to go through those stages of acceptance and renewed optimism. You need to find that doe-eyed part of you that walked into an arena the first time and saw all the lights and like ‘one day that’s going to be me, one day my name’s going to be up there’.
“One day I’m going to slap my stomach and there’s metal under there, you know? That’s what I need to find again.”
Following her loss to Holm, Rousey admitted that she thought about committing suicide, but fast forward to today and the California native has a whole new outlook on life, whereby she is keeping those who support her close and pushing her critics away.
“I have this wall in my house that’s right outside my bathroom, it’s all the good things that I put up there,” she said.
“Like little girl letters, the cutest, sweetest, most adorable things and I tape them all over my wall, that’s my inspiration back to me.
“Like all the words from all those people that reached out to me that are like I’m somehow helping them and they’re really helping me back. Because I hear so many of the worst things anyone could ever even imagine to think to say about me every single day.
“Thousands of times, all these people are constantly trying to reach me and tell me these negative things. People like to see people rise because they want to rise, but they like to see people fall because they want to feel like they’re human like they are.
“So that’s why we keep doing this cycle of raising people up and letting them crash down. Raising people up and letting them crash down. I’m coming back to win this title for the people that believed in me.”
Rousey also reminisced about her meeting with a fan that was dying of cancer prior to her title fight against Holm at UFC 193.
The fan wanted to see Rousey beat Holm and retain her title, but that did not come to fruition as Holm walked away from the event with the belt around her waist.
Rousey has now made it her mission to win the title back in order to make the fan’s wish come true.
“She was like dying of cancer, she came to that open workout and stood out in the sun so she could have the chance to meet me,” Rousey said. “I promised her — she was like ‘please, please win’ and I promised her I would win and I didn’t.
“I need to come back and I need to win to fulfill that promise.”